#i'm like whoa those are related that way who knew

[louderfade]

i am not good at this so it's fun bc i get to do learning. it's like mindmaze on encarta in that they direct you to the article.

[fluff-lover]

The one that got away | Wolverine x fem!Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend broke up with you. Luckily your neighbor and good friend Wade is there to cheer you up. And his good looking roommate is a bonus.

This is based on this Reddit story

Warning: mature language, heartache, bad writing (does that count?), fluff!

This is my first fanfic on Tumblr, and English is not my first language, so please be gentle :P

You've never cried this hard in your life. So hard it left you completely drained, wondering if people could really die of a broken heart. Your head was pounding, your face was red and puffy, your hair was a mess because you couldn’t muster the strength to do the most basic things like taking care of it for the last week.

You felt defeated knowing that you were about to walk into an empty home. You unlocked the door and took a deep breath before looking into your apartment. Everywhere you looked you saw bits and pieces of him. Him. The man you shared the last few years of your life with, the man you thought you would marry.

Just as you were about to step inside, you heard the door next to yours open.

“Hey babycakes!” your neighbor said. “I haven’t seen you around lately.”

You took a deep breath and forced a smile, barely looking his way.

“Hi Wade.” You said softly. “Just been busy.”

One of the things Wade appreciated about you is that you weren't the type to look away from him. In a world where people looked at him with disgust, he appreciated and befriended those who wouldn't look away. So when you avoided looking at him, he knew something was wrong.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's going on? Did you see someone kick a puppy or something?”

You didn't even bother trying to contain yourself, you were just too tired.

“Ben dumped me.” you managed to choke out as you slumped on the door frame.

Wade’s demeanor changed entirely. You two were good friends, even if sometimes you felt like you couldn't fully understand him. He was a mutant. He was THE Deadpool, the merc with a mouth. His sense of humor was more inappropriate than it was funny, and you couldn't relate to most of the things he went through, but you were still there for him, you still treated him like a person.

You were his friend, and one of the few people he fought so far to save the world for when the TVA threatened to shut your whole timeline down.

“What in the ass?” Wade said before walking to you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You cried on his shoulder harder, only now realizing how lonely you felt in the past few days. “Come here.” Wade gently guided you to his -blind Al's- apartment and sat you down on the couch.

“What's going on?” a gruff voice said. You looked up to see Logan walk into the living room with a confused look on his usually frowned face. You wiped your tears with embarrassment. You hadn't known Logan for long, just a few weeks after he moved in with Wade and Al. So the fact that he saw you cry made you feel a little bit awkward.

“I'll tell you what's going on.” Wade said as he walked to the kitchen. “We're gonna have a girls’ night in, and she’s gonna tell us all about the fuckface that made her cry. And then Imma go fuck him up because no one messes with my family.”

Logan growled lowly at the “girls’ night” part, but didn't make an attempt to leave. Instead he sat down on a chair backwards to your left. When Wade walked out of the kitchen he was carrying a pizza box and a six pack.

“Oh Wade, no… I don't want to bother you. Either of you.” You said shyly.

“Nonsense.” Wade said before sitting down on the couch next to you. Logan quickly opened three beers with one of his claws and placed them on the coffee table. “You were there for me when Vanessa dumped me. Now I'm gonna be here for you. Start from the beginning, what happened?”

You took a deep breath and gripped your own knees in an attempt to ground yourself.

“A few weeks ago Ben ran into his ex. They were highschool sweethearts, and all throughout college, but after college they went their separate ways. So when he ran into her and told me he wanted to catch up with her after so many years I didn’t think much of it.” You shook your head, lips trembling. “But a couple of weeks later I came home to Ben packing his things. He said that he had been reconnecting with her and that he realized that he regretted ever letting her go. She's the one that got away. He told me he didn't mean to hurt me but life's giving him a second chance with her and that he had to take it.” You said and sobbed.

“He sounds like a real idiot.” Logan said before taking a sip of his beer. Meanwhile Wade handed you a napkin to wipe your tears away.

“I'm the idiot.” You said sadly. “I shouldn't have let him go meet her.”

“Hey, now, don't say that.” Wade said. “This is not your fault, you hear me? He made a stupid choice, he's a moron. What does this girl have that you don't have? Beer flavored nipples?”

“Ben did say she was prettier.” You replied, your heart breaking as you remembered that painful conversation.

“So he's a blind idiot.” Logan said. His comment made you feel better.

“When did this happen?” Wade asked.

“Last Thursday, why?”

Wade gasped dramatically.

“Buttercup, today is Tuesday! Why didn't you tell us sooner?”

“I didn't want to bother you.” You repeated.

“We could've spend the weekend eating trash food, getting drunk, building snowmen-”

“There’s no snow.” you pointed out.

“He means cocaine.” Logan said.

“Oh…”

“-watching reruns of Golden Girls.” Wade carried on ignoring the two of you.

“I don't do drugs.” You felt the need to clarify to Logan. He just shrugged and sipped his beer. Wade's weird comments didn't faze him anymore.

“...We could've slash his tires, steal his cat.” Wade carried on with a dreamy look on his face as he looked far away, in his own world.

“He doesn't have a cat.” You said confused.

“... and all of that, if you had come to me sooner, babycakes.” Wade finished dramatically. “You didn't have to go through this alone, I'm right next door.”

You couldn't help but smile a little bit at that.

“I know. Thank you, Wade.”

“Where's the guy now?” Logan asked and your shoulders’ dropped.

“I think he moved in with her.”

Logan arched an eyebrow, looking unimpressed.

“Do you want us to kick his ass for you?” He then asked. You were shocked by his offer. You would’ve expected it from Wade, but not from the Wolverine. Your breakup surely was the least of his problems. But at least you felt less alone.

“Thank you, but no. I’m sure karma will get him eventually.”

“Are we talking about luck, or the mutant named Karma?” Wade asked and then laughed. “Never mind, either way he’s fucked.”

-

Life didn’t get any easier the following days, you were still heartbroken, but at least you didn’t spend the evenings completely alone. Instead of going home after work, you would stop by your neighbor’s and hang around for a little bit. Blind Al told you that of all the motherfuckers in the building, she liked you the most -you weren’t sure that was compliment-.

Wade… well, he was Wade. But you knew his heart was in the right place.

And Logan… he didn’t talk much, obviously, but at least you could tell he didn’t entirely hate you. He would tell Wade to fuck off whenever he crossed a line with his dark, twisted sense of humor at your expense. He offered you a drink when you were around, even if it meant sharing his precious bourbon. Overall he wasn’t the killing machine Wade made him to be.

Even Vanessa stopped by one day by Wade’s request to take you out for some shopping and ice cream. You liked Vanessa, she was badass but kind. Beautiful, but not arrogant. And despite life’s hardships, she was very sweet to you. You didn’t tell her but deep down you were hoping she and Wade would get back together.

A day out with another woman was just what you needed to feel a little bit better. Maybe a man broke your heart, but you still had friends in your corner, and that meant you didn’t live a loveless life.

-

You paced around the apartment nervously, your front teeth chewing your thumbnail as you tried to pull yourself together.

Ben had just texted you to tell you he would be picking up the rest of his stuff in a few minutes, and you just wanted to pull out your hair and scream. You weren’t ready to see him. You weren’t ready to talk to him.

Just as you were about to panic, you heard heavy steps down the hallway and some odd grunting. Then there was some cursing. When you looked outside your door you found Logan trying to open his door with one of his claws.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah…” Logan said tiredly. “Fucking Wade took my key without telling me and now I can’t get in.” He growled at the keyhole as it had personally offended him.

“I have a spare key, hang on.” You said before retreating into your apartment to retrieve said key. Logal walked to your door, and without stepping into the apartment, he looked around. When you returned you found him eyeing a couple of boxes by your door.

“You movin’ somewhere?” He asked.

“No, these are Ben’s. He’s picking them up in a little bit.” You replied while offering him the key.

Logan went to grab it, and you could’ve sworn he took his sweet time running his fingers down your hand to take it. Suddenly something changed, the air was charged with some sort of static that ran across your skin. Time seemed to stop, and you didn’t realize but the two of you stared at each other for what felt like years.

Only then you noticed how sad his eyes were.

Wade always went on and on about him being grumpy and having a murderous look on his face, and while you could agree that Logan was the serious type and you had yet to see him laugh, you never noticed the sadness in his eyes. You knew there was something behind said sadness, Wade had warned you that Logan’s past was traumatic and violent, and that he was on a long road to recovery that he may never reach. You never asked questions, but now you wished you did.

You also noticed how handsome he was. Rugged and manly, so different from Ben, who had this boyish charm to him.

Eventually, after what felt like a century, Logan looked away.

“Thanks.” He said lifting the key in the air. “Are you fine with him coming here?”

Your first instinct was to say yes, but your mouth moved faster.

“No, not really. I’m not sure I’m ready to see him yet.” You replied and wrapped your arms around yourself, embarrassed by your own weakness.

Logan simply looked at you up and down before stepping into your apartment and walking past you. You blinked and closed the door behind you.

“I’ll stay, make sure you’re okay.” Logan said, as if that was enough of an explanation.

“Oh, you don’t have to…” you started.

“I’m not asking.” He said before taking his jacket off and sitting down by your kitchen counter.

“Um… alright…” You walked to the fridge. “Would you like something to drink? How about a snack?”

“I’ll take a beer.” He replied. So you took two cans from the fridge and handed him one.

“How did you know I’d have beer?” You asked jokingly.

“Wade talks about you a lot, I just picked a few things here and there.” He said with a shrug and then took a sip.

“He talks about you a lot too.” You commented. Again, something shifted in his eyes. For a second you thought he looked panicked. “All good things.” You added.

Logan turned his face and looked away.

“Right.” He mumbled.

“I mean it.” You pressed. “He worships you, in his own weird, Wade-like way.”

Logan looked back at you and saw the sincerity in your eyes.

“So, if you’re not ready to see your ex, why is he coming to pick his shit now?” He quickly changed the subject.

“He didn’t give me much of a choice. He just announced he was coming over.” You shrugged.

“And you didn’t tell him to fuck off?” Logan scoffed.

“I mean… I wanted to. But he has the right to collect his things… right?” You said unsure. Logan arched an eyebrow.

“I don’t think he has the right to anything after what he did to you. He’s lucky you’re sweet and kind, anyone else would've told him to go fuck himself. Personally I would’ve burnt his shit.”

You smiled and tilted your head.

“You think I’m sweet and kind?” You said teasingly.

“Shut up.” He replied before downing his beer.

Wade was right, Logan did have that whole “don't get too close, I'll only break your heart” vibe going on.

“Sometimes I wish I could tell him to shove it, I do.” You confessed. “I want him to hurt too, to hurt as much as I do. But…” you looked down.

“But that’s just not you.” Logan concluded. Looking at him through your eyelashes, you nodded your head.

You stared at him and again you could see the sadness behind his eyes. You were both broken, unable to put yourselves together, but wishing you could help the other.

A knock on the door made you jump on your skin and break the little bubble you were in.

Logan got up and squared his shoulders.

Suddenly he seemed taller -even taller than he already was-. Is like all of a sudden he could look a thousand times more intimidating than he did moments ago. He wasn’t just Logan. He was the Wolverine.

“I’ll take it, bub.” He said before walking to the door.

“What?” you asked confused

“Just stay there and let me handle it.” He told you and you watched frozen as he took off his plaid shirt.

You couldn’t help but stare at his muscular torso in nothing but a white wife beater.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t want blood on my shirt.” He replied.

You opened your eyes widely.

“WHAT?!”

“Relax.” He smirked. “I’m just messing with ‘ya.” he chuckled before opening the door.

The look on Ben’s face when he saw a tall, brooding, muscular man opening your door was priceless.

“The fuck are you?” Logan asked, pretending not to know already.

“I-I’m Ben.”

“Okay Ben.” Logan said annoyed. “What the fuck do you want?”

Ben looked around the hall confused.

“Did I get the wrong apartment? Is this 3B?”

“Yeah.” Logan replied.

“I was supposed to pick up some boxes…”

“Hey, gorgeous!” Logan called out loudly before turning to look at you over his shoulder. “You know this kid?” He asked in a condescending tone.

Ben’s face went red as the situation got more and more awkward.

“Um yeah…” You walked to the door, playing along. “Logan, this is Ben. Ben, Logan.” You introduced them quickly. “Your boxes are right there.” You added pointing to the side.

“Right. Good. Okay.” Ben stumbled on his words. “I got some of your things too.” He went to pick up your box, not without any struggle. “Careful, is heavy.”

Logan took the box easily with just one hand.

“I’ll take this.” He said before turning around. “Don’t take long, gorgeous.” As if Ben’s manhood wasn’t wounded enough, Logan spanked your ass playfully, like he had some sort of claim on you. You jumped a little bit, surprised by his bold action.

Looking back at Ben, you could tell he didn’t want to be there. Poor thing looked like he was ready to run for the hills. He quickly picked up the two boxes.

“So you… um…” He didn’t know what to say. “You and him?”

His question made you angry, and for the first time you decided to put your foot down.

“You lost the right to ask questions long ago Ben.” You said before slamming the door on his face.

When you turned around you found Logan looking damn pleased with himself. He had a cocky smile on his face.

“You did that on purpose.” You accused him, with no real anger in your voice.

“Do what, exactly?”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes.

“You know exactly what.”

“You said you wanted him to hurt, right? Trust me, no man wants to walk to his ex-girlfriend’s door and find another man.” He said proudly before downing the rest of his beer.

“Especially not one as handsome as you.” You added. Clearly he wasn’t expecting that, because he choked on his drink.

You could be bold too.

“Aaaaanyway…” You said before putting the box on the table and opening it as if calling him that was the most natural thing ever.

Logan watched you pull out your things from the box as you checked everything was there.

“Toothbrush, shampoo, pijamas…”

“Um…” Logan cleared his throat as he picked something from the box.

Your eyes almost popped out of your skull when you saw him holding a lace red teddy you once bought to wear for Ben.

“Jesus!” you snatched it from his fingers, your face warming up due to the embarrassment, and threw it back into the box.

“That guy really don’t know how lucky he was it until he fucked up, uh?” Logan said playfully.

“Not really.” You said shyly. “He didn’t like it.”

Logan stared at you for a moment.

“What kind of man doesn’t like a beautiful woman in lingerie?”

As if your face wasn’t hot enough already, you thought it would explode when he called you beautiful.

“I dunno. He said I looked silly in it.” you shrugged, as if it wasn’t a big deal. But it was a big deal. Huge! You remembered wanting to do something special for one of your anniversaries, and you wanted to look sexy, since after a few years together your sex life wasn’t as fulfilling as it was during the first few months of your relationship. It really hurt when Ben didn’t look interested, saying you didn’t need silly outfits to get him to bed. Ben thought he was complimenting you, but you took it as a hit to your self esteem.

There was a long silence as you kept looking into the box. You weren’t looking for anything in particular, you just were trying to look busy. You could feel Logan’s eyes burning the side of your face as he stared at you.

Then his hands found yours and he stopped you. You looked up at him and your heart jumped at the intensity he was looking at you with.

“I know that right now it doesn’t feel like it because you're still hurting, but I assure you it’s a good thing you two aren’t together anymore. You deserve better. You deserve a real man that knows he’s the luckiest motherfucker on this earth, and every other earth, for having you.”

You were speechless.

“Logan…” you whispered.

You saw his eyes flicker down your lips and you could swear he was leaning in…

“Knock Knock! Are you there, babycakes?” You heard Wade call from behind the door. “I just saw Ben at the stairs, he looked like he was about to burst into tears. Did you finally tell him to choke on a dick?”

Logan closed his eyes and took a deep breath, frustrated and annoyed at his friend.

“Fucking Wade…” He shook his head and looked back at you. “I guess I don’t need the spare key anymore.”

You put some space between the two of you and smiled awkwardly.

“Keep it. Something tells me this won’t be the last time Wade will lock you out.”

Logan chuckled. He had the most beautiful pearly white teeth, and a breathtaking smile. How come you didn’t notice before? Every time you went to Wade’s apartment, this god-like man sat close to you and you never took a good, long look at him? Clearly your love for Ben and your heartache blinded you.

And now you can finally see.

“Is that Wolvie I hear in there?” Wade said.

When Logan opened the door he found his roommate still there, waiting impatiently. Wade gave Logan a once over, seeing him in his wife beater, his plaid and jacket in his hand, and a satisfied grin on his face.

Wade then looked at you, then back at Logan, then back at you… and so several times, before taking his hands to his face.

“Oh… my… God… the two of you?!”

Logan just walked past him, sending you a wink before he disappeared into the hall. Wade just stood there, looking at you.

“I ship it so hard.” He whispered.

[rikis-girl]

Spiderman

Warnings: Harsh words and angst Pairing: Spiderman!Jake x fem!reader Synopsis: You loved Jake and you always will. But is it worth dating Spiderman though?

"Gwen Stacy!!!!!" your mother called for you from downstairs. You almost dropped your polaroid of your beloved boyfriend Jake Parker; brother of the late Peter Parker. Jake had just joined the army of spider people under Miguel and was not too familiar with the spiders but Gwen Stacy, aka ghost spider or spiderwoman.

You rush downstairs to see your mother holding up her phone to take your picture as you twirl in your dress.

"How do I look mom?" "Like a successful science experiment" she replied taking a picture casually and flicking her tears.

The doorbell rings and your super cute golden retriever of a boyfriend stood there with the biggest most excited and nervous smile you've seen anyone sport. "May I come in Mrs.Stacy?"

He notices you standing and posing for the camera and his jaw drops to the ground. "You look....... whoa" he sputters in disbelief as he takes in your fit. "Do I look good Jakey?" you ask. "You look so pretty I'm upset that there are only 3 dimensions I can view you from." His sparkling eyes make your heart stutter.

He gently takes your hand in his as your mom calls you two to take pictures together. He slips his hand around your waist and pulls you closer. "Don't be shy baby." He says before smiling for the picture.

Soon you both are in his second hand car and are making your way to prom. A scream pulls through the school cafeteria and Jake gets into his spider get up instantly.

"Please be safe out there." You tell him; worried that you'll have to face the same Jake who was impaled by the great Doc Oc who he accidentally, indirectly murdered.

"Have I ever not been safe?" He jokes, you give him a stern and worried look conveying how upsetting it is to see the love of your life coming home with all those scratches and wounds.

"Fine, I will stay out of too much trouble" He gives you a chaste kiss before slipping his mask on and swinging into the cafeteria.

Loud clanging sounds are heard from the cafeteria and you hear Jake throwing a few playful quips here and there as you try to guide everyone to safety. "I'M NOT A MONSTER!!!!" a scream echoes through the building. "I know you're not." Jake whispers, trying to calm down the broken soul in front of him. "THEN WHY IS IT THAT NO ONE LOVES ME? NOT MY MOM, NOT MY DAD, NOT MY EX! WHEN WILL I FIND LOVE?? Will you help me?" The girl sobs, breaking down in front of your boyfriend. "Wait what? I mean, you will find love eventually..... But for now you need to love yourself." He reaches his hand out to pull her up from the wall of plants she pulled up with her powers.

Jake suddenly gets himself pulled in by said girl as she traps him in her plant. "Knew you would fall for a poor, unfortunate soul." She says, chuckling darkly. "I TRUSTED YOU FLO!" your betrayed boyfriend shrieks.

"Too bad spidey, now you're all mine" she says and starts walking to him and Jake starts to expect the worst lashing he's had in weeks and closes his eyes for the impact which never came.

In front of his eyes stood his strong and brave girlfriend yanking the hair of Flo; a teen who magically started having super powers related to her favorite superhero: poison Ivy.

"STACY NO GET OUT OF HERE" Jake yells as he tries to free himself off the binds.

"THIS BITCH TRIED TO TAKE MY MAN I AIN'T BACKING DOWN SUPERPOWER OR NOT!!!" You scream vigorously pulling the hair of the deranged female in front of you.

Jake frees himself and brings you to safety and removes his mask.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" He whisper-shouts, mad. "The bitch wanted MY man.... I will have a problem with that" you explained.

Jake just shook his head and pulled his mask on. "STAY. PUT. HERE." He warns sternly as he swings off, leaving you sitting on a rooftop with your feet dangling in the air.

A good 20 minutes pass by when you feel something wrap around your neck. Before you can respond, you loose your vision and consciousness.

The first thing you see after the incident is the ground at least 80 feet below you and a gag around your mouth. Your boyfriend is fighting the crazy plant girl Flo as he keeps checking on you, dangling right above a vat of weird chemicals.

"WELCOME TO MY HOME GWEN STACY, AKA SPIDEY'S WHORE!" Flo screams from some random floor in the building which you were dangling from. You notice plants holding your arms and neck, keeping you from plunging to your death. You look frantically for a way to escape when one of the plants holding your right hand lets go, leaving you dangling by your left hand and your throat.

"THE CHILDREN OR THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE SPIDEY!" Flo yells as a bus of children are dropped along with you from either sides of the building. "SAVE THE KIDS!" You scream before plunging to your inevitable death. You see you boyfriend rushing to save the kids at your word and you close your eyes accepting fate when you feel something sticking onto your chest as you open your eyes to see your boyfriend's web attached to you. "I can do both, Spider-man always does both."

You were only a few feet above the ground and it was almost too late and you look at your boyfriend one last time with his mask on as a plant attacks him, leaving you to hit the ground as a shooting pain surges through your body and you breathe no more.

You have a dream with Jake and you smiling and holding your grandkids, but you knew all too well that you were gone.

On the other side of the battle field, Jake's watch glows. The words 'Canon intact' flash the screen as he sees Miguel from his peripheral vison. The words Gwen from 65 rung in his head as he fought Flo with tears streaming down his face.

"In every other universe, Gwen Stacy falls for Spider-man.... and in every other universe, it doesn't end well."

A/N; I finally figured how to make this thing work so, made some changes! Hope you like it!!

[bimboothefool]

A Whole Garden of ḟℓ◎ẘ℮ґ﹩

Content Warning!! WEE WOO WEE WOO!! This contains Mighty getting his arm sewn back on, its really short and is pure fluff.

“Why..?” Mighty asked, his pale blue eyes searched for an answer as he watched you stitch his arm back on. “Simple, I'm writing my friend's wrong. He made you and didn't bat an eye when you needed help the most.” You replied, spitting out the term friend. Almost like he was no longer your friend. He notices he's no longer in that cramped laboratory that used to be his home.

He realizes that he's in a cozy cottage, where the sunlight peeking through provides enough light.

“I see…” He mumbled looking away, even though Mighty knew that he could've easily pummeled you. You didn't seem fazed by it, heck you offered to help him instead of killing him. “I'm also guessing the dismemberment was the villagers’ doing. They're disgustingly judgmental to those who are even slightly different…” You muttered, swimming in your own thoughts.

“...There, all better!” You said wiping the sweat off your forehead with the back on your wrist. “Whoa the stitches look less clunky.” You laughed at Mighty’s observation of your work. “Eh it's not a big deal, I mend clothes from time to time…” Mighty shrugs as he sees you head out the room, he decides to follow you. Unsure of why, but feels compelled to and decides to follow through with it.

~~

You were outside tending to your garden, Mighty decided to lend a helping hand. He'd ask what you're growing and the two of you talked about them throughout the afternoon. Flowers, their meanings and everything else. “Do you mind teaching me more about plants..?” Mighty asked, in a polite tone. “Oh, of course! Just let me know if I'm going too slow or fast, I'll happily repeat myself!” You said, feeling your heart swell up with joy at the idea of someone taking interest in your plants.

Mighty would also make suggestions of what kind of plants he'd want for the garden, from poppies to marigolds. Even plants he wants to try and cook with like rosemary and thyme. It was nice seeing Mighty feel at ease.

He wasn't running for his life or on the defense, he felt like he was loved and wanted. Mighty for a while, knew immediately he wanted to be with you till the end of time. Even before he could put a proper term in place, he started to want more from you. Not anything related to wealth or status, but something more meaningful in the relationship he had with you.

Everytime you'd head out into the village, Mighty would distract himself with various chores and if there were none, he'd read a book or two. If not he'd meditate, the garden was always his favorite spot. He'd always enjoy the scent of fresh flowers and herbs, but as of lately he saw there were no flowers in the vase.

He decided to hit the books by heading back inside your house and do a bit of research, he headed inside and to the little library that was in his room.

Mighty soon notices and sees there's a new book on his shelf. It was a soft moss green book he gently grabs and sees that it's about flowers and their many meanings. You briefly mentioned them, but not too often. “I guess it's their way of saying I can do whatever I will with that information…” Mighty mumbled to himself aloud. He sits at his desk and starts reading the book, he gets to a chapter about bouquets, paying very close attention to it.

“Hmm maybe I'll give (Y/n) a special bouquet for the vase..?” Mighty ponders for a bit and sets his mind on making you a bouquet.

~~

“Mighty, I'm home!” You yelled as you put your basket down. “I'm in the kitchen!” You headed over and saw him arranging a couple of flowers in the vase that sat in the middle of the small wooden table. “Wow these are beautiful…” You were amazed by how they were arranged. It was definitely nice to come home to Mighty. That armadillo never seemed to run out of surprises.

“Red Carnations, Daisies and…Chrysanthemums…” You felt your heart start to race, knowing their meanings. “Mighty… You know what these flowers mean right..?” He shyly nodded. “Of course, (Y/n)! Do you accept me, for what I am and my feelings..?” He quietly asked, with hopeful eyes. “Yes, I accept your love and everything that you are.”

Mighty gently cups your cheeks and gives you a soft, tender kiss. You shyly kiss him back, emotionally feeling sparks go off, he breaks the kiss. Resting his forehead against yours, his eyes look at yours lovingly. “I love you, (Y/n)...” You smiled at him. “I love you too, Mighty…”

[piracytheorist]

To promote Village, Capcom released a developer diary titled “The Making of Resident Evil Village: Winter Comes for Ethan” in September 2020, where staff members discuss Ethan's role within the game... okay where is this I kinda wanna know what was said I wish i could have not seen the compilation of reception he got in his wikipedia page as some it is so dumb (mean to say but it is one said that Ethan was a incompetant idiot- ahh yes the same Ethan who knew how to reload a gun one handed and figure how to make super powerful bullets in RE7) also I want you to watch Chris campaign from RE1 because I want to see if you can spot what I noticed about the similarities in charcters and stuff

I'm pretty sure I saw some stuff about the Making Of you mentioned, but I cannot remember what was said. I do kinda remember them saying that even during the making of Resident Evil 7 they were already wondering where Ethan's story could go from there and they decided to explore it in Resident Evil 8. But I don't remember much else.

As for the reception... I was watching a guy stream Shadows of Rose yesterday, and he mentioned he didn't like Ethan because he always states the obvious, and I'm like... bruh that's like saying "I don't like Ethan because he has blonde hair". It's like you're saying it's a fact that it's a negative trait for his character when it's just a trait; some will like it, some will not, but the phrasing of the negativity around Ethan's character specifically sounds like those people do not understand character range and audience opinions. Not every character is for everyone.

To be frank, in the context of the Resident Evil franchise, Ethan is a little dumb... but way smarter than the average human being. If y'all think the average human would be able to do anything Ethan did in re7 and re8, you grossly overestimate the average person's intelligence. A not insignificant part of the human population cannot read a map. A not insignificant part would not know to keep their arm high and put pressure on it after the hand has been cut off. A not insignificant part does not know where to stick needles on the human body when registering medicine. A very not insignificant part cannot aim and shoot a gun (I was in a shooting club for a year, for air guns who are way lighter than fire guns, and lemme tell you the amount of newcomers who tried the air pistols and could not get a single bullet to even hit the edge of the target was bigger than you can imagine). You do not call that bare minimum because I fucking guarantee you there's a lot of people who just don't know this shit. And in the Resident Evil games, the protagonists have always been a little smarter, tougher, stronger than the average population, because they are a fantasy of sorts of being a Cool Badass character surviving through a zombie outbreak because we ourselves would never survive it. The reception to Ethan is fucking hilarious because the moment they tried to make the protagonist a little closer to the average human everyone started screaming bloody murder about how apparently "stupid" he is like excuse me Dave do you know how to use a medical syringe? Thought so.

And apart from that, I still think it's their loss that they cannot see how fucking relatable and hilarious Ethan is. You don't play the game to make "Wow Ethan is so badass if only I was like him!!"-fantasy-like thoughts. You play the game to be like "Whoa buddy you're in some deep shit but we're in this together we'll pull through" and honestly tough luck for them cause re8 fucking rocks and they're only sabotaging their own enjoyment.

I'm honestly not invested enough to watch gameplays of the other Resident Evil games, but you're welcome to share with me your thoughts about those similarities you mentioned :)

[purplerose244]

My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (2/4)

SPOILERS ALERT!!!

For now, nothing to complain about! We got Nya, we got MAYA AND RAY, we got GILES PANTON BACK A LEGO SHOW!!! 😍😍😍

Of course now I'm definitely curious about what the story is really about, like I'm guessing Wojira will wake up at some point so... Great Devourer all over again maybe? 😅 Idk, for now I just wanna enjoy Nya having her moment 🥳

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

New alert for reader, during the Nexo Knights period I was and still am the hugest Clay fan. Now that his voice is in this season I might scream more than necessary... keep that in mind 😅

I love the humor in this, all random but still kinda clever 😂😂 Maybe I'm biased because I love Jay but still 🤷‍♀️

I really like the design of the marine world, very cool!! 🌊🌊🌊

I guess I'm not really seeing any big plot twist moment for now? Ninjago seasons have history of basing seasons on a "we need to prevent this event from happening but it will happen anyway", so I can see Wojira waking up no matter what 🤷‍♀️

I wonder if that will be shocking? Usually when this situation happen, someone makes a major sacrifice (Zane with the Overlord, sensei Garmaron with Chen, again sensei G with the Preeminent...). Maybe Maya? I DON'T WANT THAT 😭 But I am curious, everything is going nicely and I'm not sure what it will bring! 🤩 I'M EXCITED SO LET'S GO!!!

THE WRATH OF KALMAAR

So this is the name of Clay's new incarnation, neat! 👍

Okay really, for having a season lately the main character just can't help but be trapped by the villain: kinda Zane in the ICE Chapter, Jay in Prime Empire, Cole in Master of the Mountain... we can call it a tradition at this point 🤷‍♀️

Giant serpent, yadda yadda, I wonder if we're gonna address the Great Devourer at some point? Not mandatory, but the reference would be very cool 🤩

Clay's new incarnation is a prince I- *hyperventilates in awe*

Nya playing dumb lol, I don't know if that's personal experience as she used to get kidnapped a lot in the past or she just have too many idiots in her life 😂

ALSO ANOTHER BEST GIRL'S SMIRK

NYA YOU'RE TOO MUCH ILY ❤💙❤💙

Jay I love that you're so worried about Nya but maybe try NOT TO DIE? YOU'RE WITH LLOYD AND ZANE YET YOU'RE THE ONE GOING FOR THE SACRIFICE WTH?? 😱 But he's worried about his cool GF I kinda get it, also he didn't do it so good...

WHAT. THE. HECK.

WHO ARE YOU OH MY FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER YOU'RE ADORABLE I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU YOU ABSOLUTE CUTIE 🤩🤩🤩

So Giles is doomed to voice LEGO characters with daddy issues 😂 That being not having a dad at all or having one that is... a good guy? Idk he seems chill with the surface at first glance, I wonder what's the story of this family

Maya reminds of my mom, she also mentions her work a lot and I study the same thing. But she doesn't want to brag, it gets annoying but she just wants to give me advice. It's nice to see actually 👍 Also Ray reference NEAT ❤❤❤

Wow, if any child-parent couple of this show was doomed at going semi Emperor's New Groove style, I would've bet on Ed and Jay honestly 😅

Oh HECK yes I knew that with my water girls things were BOUND to get cool 😎 ... yeah I know where the door is *goes away*

JAY NO WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TRYING TO DIE STOP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!! 😱😱😱

My GOSH that scared the crap out of me 😅 Jay honey we have too many deaths in this team, you're not helping... BUT YOU POWERED AN ENTIRE SHIP BECAUSE YOU LOVE NYA AND YOU DIDN'T DIE AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BLUEBELL 💙💙💙

They were all so worried, I love this ninja family so freaking much 💜💜💜 Also better not tell this one to his GF 😂

And Bluebell?

Welcome to the "change eye color because of elemental power" team! WE GOT ANOTHER ONE I LOVE WHEN IT HAPPENS!!! 😍😍😍

Awww, Zane letting Jay be the captain, that was so cute of him 💕

Another great episode! Doing great so far but I still wonder if we got into the main story. Feels like there should be more, well we got time! Next one! 😊

LONG LIVE THE KING

Sooooo... that's one very telling title 😅 If we're going full Lion King on this one, I think I know where this is going 😵

Maya: Don't they know that metal taste terrible?!? (Again feels like Kai could say something like this 😂)

FINALLY NYA USING FREAKING WATER POWERS UNDER THE SEA!!! Thank you Maya for saying out loud what we were all thinking 👌👌

NINJA TO THE RESCUE!!!

Pff, okay, the fact that Kalmaar is all evil and cruel and then he gets startled like that, it's kind or adorable! 💕 Honestly Giles got such a deep voice, with Clay it was firm warm and reassuring, here we got plain devious and I ADORE it 😍😍😍

Maya come on don't doubt your daughter 😅 But I like her, and if she knew Nya they way we all do she wouldn't doubt that she could make it every time 😎

Yeah I was right, the king seems chill... oww I fear what's coming then 😳

Okay, so Kalmaar thinks that the world should go back to be lead by them like in the past, while the king just wants peace with the surface. And as we know, no drama no season so...

Yep, saw the death coming 😅

WHOA DID NOT SEE THAT LITTLE BLAME ACT COMING KALMAAR IS SO EVIL!!!... with a glorious voice but still (Rose focus on something that is not that godlike voice, you can do it 💪💪)

THE OLD ONE TWO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH COMBO ATTACK!!! 🌊❄🌊❄

Awww Benthomaar is actually really cute, he's so worried about his father 😢 And he's adopted apparently? I wanna know the story!!! 🤩🤩

Yep, there's the reason why Zane got a mask even though he doesn't need one, it completes his attire 😂😂😂 My gosh how I love this nindroid ❄

Did... did Jay just say phooey? Dude Ducktales ended a while ago but I'm still not over it 😭

I said it once before I'll say it again, Ninjago is really REALLY good at making death scenes. Like, omg, I genuinely felt sorry for them 😢😢 I also really liked that the king didn't ask to be avenged, he still wanted peace and he asked his son to protect the ninja and he cried actual tears...

MY HEART WTH 😭😭😭 So we're adding this to the real tears moments of the show, with Jay crying over pie, Zane with the flashback of his dad, Jay crying over Nya and Lloyd thinking the ninja are gone... my world this show is angsty 🙂

Third startle for prince Kalmaar, I love the gag 😂 Oh wait, king Kalmaar 🤷‍♀️

Okay, we got a coup, the ninja running away because they got framed, Benthomaar is most likely going to join them or at least help them, I guess Wojira will come out at some point while... Kai, Ray and Cole are still playing videogames? 😅

THIS IS GETTING COOL I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT AAAAHHH HECK YES THERE IS THE HYPE!!! 😍😍😍

Although I hope we get more stuff with Nya and Maya, that's what I like 🤩

ESCAPE FROM MERLOPIA

I'm good at English and I can follow most of it, but the fantasy names are tricky so I didn't get before that this was the name of the place 😅 It's nice, at least it's not another Atlantis 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

LLOYD I SWEAR TO YOUR GRANDPA IF YOU TRY TO DIE AGAIN 😱

NYA YOU ARE NOT A GOOD SUBSTITUTE NONE OF YOU ARE OMG 😱😱

Ah, there he is, my new son Benthomaar 💙 He is so lovable already, I know nearly nothing about him and I like his character already a lot! He could relate with all of the ninja really, but maybe with Jay the most? They were both adopted after all 🤔🤔

*scribble note for a fanfic for later if this doesn't come up in the season*

Alright moving on 😗

I am so happy Nya gets a season, Kelly got a great emotional range that doesn't come out often in my opinion, but with a full introspection of water goddess we are all blessed by her voice acting 😍

Gotta say, admitting that Bentho didn't have to help them to answer the usual 'Can we trust him' question is pretty reasonable, like, better than other stupid answers 😅

Also don't mind me

Just screenshotting by ship 💙❤💙❤

Somehow lately we are letting Jay do the talking and I both hate and LOVE the fact 😂😂 Plain Bluebell nonsense, heck yes that's my jam👌👌

MAYA IS SO COOL OMG 🤩🤩

I literally can't not laugh at the startle gag with Kalmaar 😂

LLOYD WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT SELF SACRIFICING!! PLEASE IT'S NOT EVEN YOUR SEASON!! 😱😱😱😱

Aww Jay is still the Captain, nice! Wonder if it's giving him Skybound flashbacks... I hope not considering all he went through that time, poor Sparky 😅😅

ARE THOSE LITTLE WU ROCKETS?? 🤯

Can we skip a season and hang out with Pixal one time? I really wanna know how she organizes her free time to create these things 😍😍😍

THANK YOU LLOYD FOR NOT DYING ONCE AGAIN, MUCH APPRECIATED!!! 💚💚💚 My green bean needs a vacation... they all do 😅

THEY ARE

SO BEAUTIFUL 💙🌊💙🌊

Alright, back to the island hoping Kalmaar will not track us and follow us so he can get to the place and discover the amulet 🙂

Are we not calling the others? I miss my flame babe and Rocky ❤🖤❤🖤 Also RAY WATCHA DOIN I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING 🤩🤩

THE TALE OF BENTHOMAAR

Wait what? Shark boy backstory? SHARK BOY BACKSTORY?!? 👀👀👀

Wow, I see that Kalmaar didn't change a thing growing up, still the same gonna-be-a-villain 😂 Of course his voice got a lot deeper and cool and okay you know I love his voice moving on

I find it kinda funny that Kalmaar is so focused on royal blood and superiority, while Clay was basically a farm boy who worked his way up. Giles knows how to get the character no matter what 😍

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

BABY BENTHOMAAR AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

The king seems like such a good pers- fish- creature 😅 Now I'm double sad that he died, my world, why do I always care so fast, it's not healthy in this show where everyone could die 😰😰

I'M SORRY IS THAT KAI'S HAIR??? 😂😂😂 I LITERALLY CAN'T LOOK AWAY WTH I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS

Literally every frame of Benthomaar makes me love him even more 😢

Interesting that we got an academic villain, he kinda reminds me of Clouse in a way, maybe even Harumi since she studied her way to her plan as well? I like that we got a bit of personality too!

Using your little bro for your own purpose... it's very evil but kinda also brotherly like 😂

Benthomaar really gives me that very PRECIOUS vibe, kinda the perfect son but also a naive and unaware BABY 💙

LEGO HUG 🤩🤩 Not exactly reciprocated but still 😅

Ooohhh, so this is how he found the temple! I like this, it shows that Bentho is most likely physically stronger than Kalmaar, while evil brother is focused on brain and studies. They are planned differently, I like it! 😚😚

Ouch, peer pressure... sibling pressure? Eh you get what I mean 😂

POOR BENTHO 😭😭😭 YOU GOT THE NINJA NOW DON'T WORRY WE'RE NEVER GONNA LEAVE YOU ALONE YOU PRECIOUS SHARK BABY!! 🦈🦈🦈

Bentho: will I really fit in with you guys? Do you really understand how I feel?

Lloyd: Jay was adopted, Nya's parents were gone most of her life, Zane lost his father while mine turned evil

Bentho(tearing up): yeah that can work

Okaaaaayyyyy, I like that we got a bit of backstory for Bentho too! We didn't get much for Vanya in Master of the Mountain, which is the only thing I was sad about (very little detail, AMAZING season 🖤🖤🖤), nice to see it here!!

But I really want more Nya and Maya interactions, I hope we'll soon get to them again!! 😍😍😍

Alright, getting somewhere here! I'm very curious about what's next 🤩🤩

[unluckyhorseshoecrab]

FOB Song Challenge Days 17-21

Day Seventeen: Song you can relate to- Sunshine Riptide

tbqh i relate to almost every single song this band has ever made in some way or another. i especially relate to a lot of songs that i've used already--Disloyal Order, Sophomore Slump, Hum Hallelujah... the list goes on.

but. i am getting lyrics from this song tattooed on my body because i relate to it in terms what i have chosen on purpose rather than because something happened to me. "The world tried to burn all the mercy out of me but you know i wouldn't let it."

Day Eighteen: Fave featuring song- The Mighty Fall

When SRAR came out, this was one of my favorite songs on the album. all the songs were my favorite songs on the album, but this was one of the most favoritest. i love big sean's feature because it's different (and indicative of where the band goes in M A N I A and "Dear Future Self") and it's funny. FOB has so few straight up comical lyrics, and "Hell yeah I'm a dick girl--a-dic-ted to you!" is so funny. It's over the top and a little sleazy and clever and makes me laugh.

Shoutout to runner up "Just One Yesterday" for having some of the most metal lyrics of any FOB song

Day Nineteen: Song that pumps you up- My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark

the beat! the oh-whoa! the intensity--"a constellation of tears on your [BEAT BEAT] lashes/ burn everything you love then burn the [MATCH STRIKE] ashes"

"My childhood spat back out the monster that you see"--I have survived; i have been forged and i've already had everything taken form me so when i choose to burn it i have no fear; resilience looks like teeth and claws and walking into fire because you know you'll be remade

shoutouts to runners up "Saturday" and "Champion" for literally getting me through the toughest shit so far in 2022. "Two more weeks / my foot is in the door" and "if i can live through this / i can do anything" were lifesavers

Day Twenty: Song that reminds you of your teenage years-Sugar, We're Goin Down

ah, sitting in the passenger seat being driven to high school with this song on on my ipod (classic, but before there were different kinds of ipod to be classic or not--or maybe late enough that there were the first ipod nanos but i didn't have one of those) or on the radio again, because it was everywhere on the radio, and me trying to figure out why the fuck it felt so Important.

I knew i identified with the opening lines--"am i more than you bargained for yet/ i've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear/ cause that's just who i am this week" but-- "sleeping in and sleeping for the wrong team"?! "i'm watching you two from the closet"?! "isn't it messed up how i'm just dying to be him"?! i didn't have an original copy of FUCT but i'd seen the lyrics printed on my friend's copy--"wishing to be the friction in his jeans"-----

it's ok lil high school!me, you're queer and you just don't know it yet

Day Twenty-One: Song you would use to recommend FOB to others- Thnks Fr Th Mmrs

the real answer to this is that it depends on the music taste of whoever i'm talking to, since FOB has such range. but, with no context like that, i chose this because it feels like a Quintessential FOB song. it clearly has roots in (pop) punk and retains a lot of that sound and structure. but it also brings in strings and brass and does lots of fun things with dynamics and harmony and patrick's vocal range (patrick stump's lower register my beloved); it's drawing from a genre it refuses to be confined to. lyrically it is also quintessentially FOB: full of pop culture (mainly film) references, wordplay (i'm looking forward to the future but my eyesight is going bad), and the Pete Wentz Official Brand of Horniness Mixed With Queer Plausible Deniability (nobody can hear the quotes around "he tastes like you only sweeter"), and the title is also a Classic FOB Moment of subverting a thing they did that was Iconic as soon as Iconic became synonymous with Expected

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

Mamihlapinatapai Or The Season Of Longing

A/n: Here is another fic. Since it's been raining like crazy and I have spent way too much time indoors because of the weather, I decided to write this. The poem featured in this fic is called Lluvia by Jorge Luis Borges. I finally figured out how to put things under the cut so that my followers don't have to scroll through a large post 😅 It's another piece set before Doofus Rick and the reader were dating. Feel free to check out the other fics in my Masterpost.

In this fic the reader isn't the only one longing

___________

Imagine that instead of a blue sky, there was an off white, almost grey sky, and what should've been wispy white clouds were blankets of rumbling thunderstorms without a drop of rain; that was how you thought you might've felt. There was a name to this feeling, but you weren't sure what to call it; as though you were missing something you couldn't place; not sadness or grief, but whatever came in between. No, nothing bad had happened, and there hadn't been any disagreements between you and Rick, but something did occur which fed this alien feeling. It seemed that only a few days ago you were alright, but then you invited him over and he had a chance to look over those books you had mentioned. That day he had returned home from work and came over right after; offering his best of smiles and a piece of candy from his labcoat pocket as soon as he crossed the threshold of your doorway; it was nothing out of the ordinary, but it was charming all the same.

With swiftness, you had led him to your hallway closet so that you could bring down the box of books sitting on the upper shelf; that was where you kept a great portion of your father's old books. Father had been a fan of languages and botany, but ventured into the bizarre mystery from time to time; being a master of neither, you had hidden them away for a later date; mostly because the memories were more disheartening then they space they took up. With all your might, you stood on the tips of your toes in a vain attempt to reach, but your fingers barely brushed the edge of it; you should’ve just used the step ladder. It was Rick's small huff of effort which alerted you to his nearness as he unexpectedly stretched up and grabbed said box when you had a little trouble. Goodnaturedly, he carried it towards the kitchen while you took a moment to calm your girlish heart.

Coaxed away from your thoughts by the dusty cardboard and the delighted guest, you nodded lightly to give him the go-ahead to help himself. His gentle presence made him a joy to study; not in the way he examined things in the world or of the world, but in the way one does when fascinated by a butterfly or a fresh bloom hidden in an otherwise barren bush; he was a miracle. With care he pulled out one book after another, glancing through their pages and making piles for which one's he'd like to borrow. In a way he seemed to belong to this house; as though what wasn't found within pages of novels could be sought, and felt beyond reason; flowing calmly and relished in these favorable moments. Although it wasn't much, and that borrowing books could be of little consequence except to the reader itself, you hated to see him go.

Now thinking of it days later, you found yourself wondering about its significance as well as a plethora of other things as you walked to the store and back. You hadn't needed anything in particular, but you felt slightly better being outdoors; the fresh air allowed you to believe you could think better. The sounds of light traffic and grass being cut somewhere along in the neighborhood felt timeless as you walked around the corner, almost home. The wind blew, rustling your clothes and you narrowly lost the receipt that hung out of your pocket, but that didn’t bother you.

Rain clouds were rolling in from the west and you hoped it wouldn't rain before you reached home. And the closer you got, the more you could see the familiar house of your lovable neighbor. A smile couldn't help but stretch across your face at the thought and you hoped he was home so that you could ask if he'd had a chance to look those books over but that alien feeling bloomed again; the sinking, drowning, heavy feeling. How you wanted to be with him despite what reason thought was logical. The dance of your heart would've loved nothing more than to place a dozen or more kisses upon his smile lines while he stammered into the next week. Oh, your foolish heart had taken on a personification of its own these days; speaking and thinking of itself and it's wants like a second brain; draining you whenever it appeared.

Yet, before you knew it you had reached home and dropped off what you had bought before stepping out again. From your front yard, you could see that he was in the garage and you questioned whether you should go over and attempt to alleviate this feeling; it’d vanish whenever you were with him. You must’ve stood there thinking for a while as to what ought to be done for the pitter-patter of rain broke this trance-like state and you ran back towards your front porch. How silly you have become as of late with this strange crush of yours. Weren’t you past these sort of schoolgirl feelings? Perhaps, but it was more than that.

You sunk into your wicker bench and listened to the sound of the rain as it hit the roof and walkway. The earthy scent of the lawn and the splash of puddles as cars drove by was a welcomed distraction. A nap didn’t seem like such a bad idea. Yet, gentle footsteps and the sound of a closed umbrella woke another sort of feeling within you; that of hope.

“Golly, it - it sure is raining cats and dogs t-today.” he commented.

The words were out of your mouth as soon as you were aware of him; of this creature who walked out of a daydream. “I didn’t think I’d get to see you.”

“Huh? Are you alright? Did s-something happen?”

“I'm fine,” you answered; all at once conscious of him and your surroundings. “it’s just...I thought about coming over to ask if you checked out any of the books but it started to rain.”

“Th-that's part of the reason I'm here,” he confessed. “I-I had noticed you went out for a-a walk and wanted to make sure you had come home safely.”

“As you can see, I made it back in one piece. Although, I did get my hair wet. Though, that's the least of my problems.”

“Do you mind if I-I-I take a seat?”

Patting the space beside you, you nodded. “Not at all.”

He set his umbrella to the side before he seated himself and turned towards you. His warmth radiated from him and being as tall as he was, the bench might’ve been too low to the ground since his legs seemed to stick out too much, but he made no complaint. From his inner labcoat pocket, he pulled out a small book. “I thought y-y-you might enjoy this.”

“A book?”

Handing it to you, he commented. “I thought y-you might enjoy this collection of poems. I um - I bookmarked my favorites but I'd like t-t-to know what your thoughts about them would be.”

You knew this whimsical creature was well-read in many respects, but you hadn’t given much thought to the possibility of including works of a more abstract nature. “Sure, that sounds lovely. Though, I hope you don't mind me asking. Do you read works like this often? It's not because I find it strange. Honestly, I find it fascinating and wonderful that you would even consider it, but I ask because I thought….well, I thought you only read serious works related to your work.”

Scratching the back of his neck, he explained. “I read whenever I-I-I find the time and it uh - it usually doesn’t matter what the subject may be. In the pursuit of knowledge, one reads everything. For example, th-the terms and conditions for some computer programs or limited warranties at times list amusing reasons why y-you might be able to get a replacement for a damaged product. It keeps things interesting.”

“I see. It certainly makes sense.”

With a smile, he sighed with contentment as he looked towards the street. “Boy, th-this weather reminds me of a certain poem. It's called um - it's called Lluvia. That's the Spanish word for rain.”

“That's right,” you remembered; his last name should’ve been a reminder enough. “you can speak Spanish. I forget sometimes since you only talk to me in English. So, tell me, how does this poem go?”

“Please forgive me since my Spanish is a-a little rusty.”

Taking a deep breath, he recited calmly. “Bruscamente l-la tarde se ha aclarado, porque y-ya cae la lluvia minuciosa. Cae o cayó. La lluvia es una c-cosa qué sin duda sucede en el pasado. Quien la oye caer ha recobrado, el t-tiempo en que la suerte venturosa. Le r-r-reveló una flor llamada rosa y el curioso color del c-colorado. Esta lluvia que ciega los cristales, alegrará en p-p-perdidos arrabales. Las negras uvas de una parra en cierto. Patio que ya no existe. La mojada, t-tarde me trae la voz, la voz deseada, de mi padre que vuelve y que no ha muerto.”

You stared at this man, amazed by his fluency and ability to fascinate you with the simplest things. Yet again, a reason to be marveled by him. “Whoa, I don't know what you said, but it sounded beautiful when you said it.”

Turning towards you, his smile seemed brighter than usual albeit a bit sheepish. "It's n-nothing special."

"But it is, especially since you can think and speak in more than one language. I can't do that."

"I-I can teach you if you'd like."

"No, that's okay. You're busy enough as it is, but I appreciate the thought. You really are so incredibly smart."

"And you…eres maravillosa."

"What?”

His smile faltered a bit, and he thought to himself for a bit on what he was about to say before his smile returned; albeit more gently. “Eres amable y-y dulce. No soy digno de una amiga como tu.”

“Rick,” you started; confused as to why there seemed to be some sort of admission that you weren’t able to understand. “all the poetic talk is lovely, but I don't think it's fair if you reply in a way I can't understand."

"Si pudieras entenderme," he sighed, wringing his hands in the nervous way he did. "me pregunto qué creerías si te expresara cuánto me preocupo por ti."

Raising from the bench, he said to himself. "Si puedo llegar a la luna, algun dia podria...¿Q-que estoy haciendo?"

"Rick?"

“I’m o-okay. I uh - I zoned out there for a second. I’m sorry.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.”

He studied you for a moment longer; a world of words unsaid in his melancholic glances. Was something secretly hurting him like it was hurting you? You could only wonder as thoughts were drowned out by the sound of the rain.

———————————-

It was warm and comfortable with him sitting beside you. His presence always provided a sense of calm that was softer and sweeter than that of the sedatives that eased your anxiety. Why you could fall asleep right here if it weren’t for that fact that you’d be mortified if you allowed it to happen.

“Are you a-a big fan of the rain?” he wondered.

This question had come after a half-hour of companionable silence. “Hmm, it’s not the rain so much as the memories that accompany it.”

“Do y-you want to talk about it?”

“Only if you don’t mind hearing it.”

“I-I don’t mind.” He reassured you.

“Well,” you started. “my dad enjoyed rainy days since he said the plants almost seemed to smile when rainwater hit their leaves.”

“Th-that’s a nice thought.“

“Yeah, I thought so too. When it rains like this, and I’m watching it fall,” you softened; feeling lighter because you had someone to share your thoughts with. “it feels like I’m looking through a curtain. It’s not completely see-through, but the shapes I can see appear softer and more mysterious like how you must’ve appeared when you showed up. Too bad I wasn’t paying attention.”

Oh, you did not just say that out loud. “Or something like that.” You added.

If he had noticed you had tripped over your words then he gave no indication of it. “Gosh, I-I never thought of it that way b-before. I usually see it as part of the pr-precipitation cycle and it smells nice, doesn't it?”

“It does. I wouldn’t mind bottling up this scent, but then it might lose what makes it special.”

Yet, if you could bottle up his scent, it would’ve been nice to keep nearby just in case you wanted a little piece of him.

“That um - that reminds me,” he brightened. “I had baked some mandarin scones before walking over tonight, and I-I-I thought you’d like t-t-t-t-to try them but I didn’t want to risk them getting wet. I-I thought we could share some over tea tomorrow if that’s alright with you.”

Tea time with Rick was like what others did over rounds of drinks; it was to unwind and talk about the day; minus the drunkenness and the unforeseen embarrassment. “Don’t you have to work tomorrow?”

“Gee, I um - I was supposed to, but there was a shift change. Actually, I have a shift t-t-tonight in a-about an hour, but I had wanted to make sure you were alright before I left.”

“Why?”

“Because I-I thought you were going t-to walk over.”

So he had thought the same thing. “Oh, well like I said earlier I had planned to or thought to, but the weather put a damper on things.”

“Yeah.”

“Though, isn’t it funny that we both had the same thought?”

He smiled at that. “It's because gr-great minds think alike.”

What right did he have to be this adorable you thought. All you could do was smile up at him and fight the urge to run your fingers through what appeared to be soft hair; as odd as you had initially thought his haircut was when you met him, you couldn’t imagine him any other way. Still, drawn to his bright, kind eyes, you wondered if you were being attracted by some invisible force to test the limits of this friendship, and yet you knew well enough that now wasn’t the time. Following a slow blink of his, you mentioned without looking away. “Now that we have gotten to see each other, it's probably time to let you go. I wouldn’t want you to be late for work.”

“Y-you’re right.” he straightened; jumping up on his feet with much more agility then seemed possible for someone so mature. “Until next time.”

There he was leaving again when you didn’t want him to. Still, you had no right or claim to him. At least, not yet. “See you tomorrow.”

Grabbing his umbrella, he motioned to open it but paused, and slowly, but surely turned back; his smile almost boyish. “Gosh, I-I will see you tomorrow, right?”

Clutching the book of poems to your breast, you giggled. “Whichever way it may be, we will. I promise.”

Fin

[mymusicalitylove]

Dive

In my feels. Trying to be productive and direct them in a positive way.

The other night I feel like I broke because the latest disappointment (that I created for myself), came to the surface. I took a hot shower, cried and told myself to let it all go. Hardest I have cried in a long time because I replayed a lot of scenarios about this endless loop I seem to be stuck in: I give up on this notion called ‘love’, discard it and begin to focus elsewhere.. then along comes another unsuspecting fool that says all the right things to get me twitterpated and caught up in the fantasies my brain creates. I get sucked in and think, ok, maybe this will go somewhere.. just to BAM! Slam my face into a wall of unending disappointment. Wash, rinse, repeat. It feels as though this scene has been on replay about eleventeen times over these last few years, and all I can say is: How. Fucking. Stupid (Who is the REAL fool? Ya, that’s me).

I went to bed after my therapeutic shower and slept ok, but kept waking up. I finally decided to get up and be productive, and had Ed Sheeran’s “Dive” stuck in my head. Hadn’t heard it in a while so I’m not sure where it came from, but it stayed with me the entire morning. 

My entries on this thing almost always relate to music and how the lyrics relate to my life. I’ve saved some drafts with songs I’ve wanted to write about later. When I realized I wasn’t going back to sleep, I decided to write; I checked my drafts and whoa.. “Dive” was already on there.. I don’t even remember saving it. 

(Despite there being a few too many typos for my taste in this post above, I feel it, Rising Woman!)

September 2019 is the most notable time I can remember starting the self-destructive cycle. My boss left at work and I decided I needed to do something to change my life up. I put all my energy into planning my amazing sabbatical in Italy. Everything was set up; all the wheels were in motion for me to see Europe, do me selfishly, and not worry about shit! In my mind I put together plans of sightseeing, concerts, volunteering, gymming, wandering, and getting lost in the country I fell in love with a year prior.

In October on a night out with friends, I met an EMT at a bar. He worked his bullshit game, and did it well because he was intriguing. He made me feel good over a two hour convo that honestly felt like a first date, and convinced me to give him the digits (which I don’t freely give to strangers). Too bad the man never called. Womp, womp.

After a taste of those vibes I craved that “feeling” again. I tried a dating app again for a couple months. In a comical turn of events, said dating app matched me with this same EMT! This presented me with the opportunity to call his ass out, and incidentally feel validated as to why it actually was better he never called. Talked to a few other guys on the app, but really can only report on a couple stupid funny anecdotes of just how sad it is that guys don’t know how to talk to women anymore. At least this time I wasn’t taking it seriously and only did it for shits and giggles. Decided okay, just keep focusing on plans for Italy, stacking that paper, and looking forward to the new year (*point and laugh at the idiot who had no idea what 2020 had in store!*). 

In January a boy (with a girlfriend) who I’d had innocent flirtation vibes with for a while tells me he’s now single. I had already placed him in the “not gonna happen” folder, and his confession obviously began a different wave of chemistry and banter for months. We had a conversation about the reality of where I am/what I’m ready for, and where he’s at/what he’s not ready for. Oh, and in the midst of all this, Covid hits and I have to make the heartbreaking decision to cancel Italy and deal with the feels of defeat that followed. And let’s also add all the sadness of being stuck with only me, myself and my thoughts in quarantine.

One last convo in April with “previously not gonna happen” sealed the deal of this endless string of flirtation not going anywhere and back in that folder he went. I then decided to give my number to this other guy who had shown interest a while back (but I hadn’t paid him any mind cuz I was stuck on folder guy). New dude didn’t really engage, so I disregarded him again, and worked on rearranging my place, organizing, decorating, spring cleaning and purging. Fast forward to now, it’s June and new dude comes back to work, asks to hang out, we have a great first “date” lasting three hours, and now here I am less than two weeks later wondering what happened. New dude: MIA / Me: WTF?

I truly do not understand why this cycle continues. Each time I feel like I get closer to something real, just to be lead into feeling like a fucking moron. I can’t stand it anymore, and it honestly makes me want to go back to being guarded and jaded, but I know that’s not the right way to find anyone. So I open up and allow some level of vulnerability, even though I’m scared af cuz of how hard I fell five years ago with the man I thought I was going to marry.

This is gonna hurt, but I blame myself first

'Cause I ignored the truth

Drunk off that love, my head up

There's no forgetting you

You've awoken me, but you're choking me

I was so obsessed

It was a matter of time

But you are the fire, I'm gasoline

Gave you all of me, and now honestly, I got nothing left

'Cause I loved you dangerously

More than the air that I breathe

Knew we would crash at the speed that we were going

Didn't care if the explosion ruined me

Baby, I loved you dangerously

I learned a lot from that short but impactful relationship. It was the love of my life and I went into it with complete abandon. I loved him dangerously. Things felt “right” and escalated quickly, which lead to our demise because we did not explore all the things before going full force into a relationship. We mutually thought this was “it” and talked about the future we would have. It completely broke me to end things, and upon rebuilding the pieces of me, I promised myself I would never rush into things like that again. 

I know that I do it to myself, but I guess I don’t know how else to do it. If I’m closed off and guarded, I’m not welcoming anything in; if I’m open and vulnerable, I start to dream in fantasyland with expectations just to be let down and end up inevitably disappointed. I clearly don’t know how to find the balance that works and it has become maddening beyond words. 

I need to find that balance, and it would be a lot easier to find in non-Covid times where I could have something else to focus my precious energy on, rather than wanting to find “my person”.

Maybe I came on too strong

Maybe I waited too long

Maybe I played my cards wrong

Oh, just a little bit wrong

Baby I apologize for it

I could fall or I could fly here in your aeroplane

And I could live, I could die

Hanging on the words you say

And I've been known to give my all

And jumping in harder than ten thousand rocks on the lake

So don't call me baby unless you mean it

Don't tell me you need me if you don't believe it

So let me know the truth

Before I dive right into you

And I've been known to give my all

And lie awake, everyday don't know how much I can take

I could fall, or I could fly here in your aeroplane

And I could live, I could die

Hanging on the words you say

And I've been known to give my all

Sitting back, looking at every mess that I made

This new dude made me really feel this. I tend to fall, and fall hard because I am so ready to give my heart to someone. But I need to put on the brakes and slow my damn roll. 

I can’t keep getting my hopes up. That is ultimately my problem. I tell myself to not have expectations and I do well to begin with, then have an amazing connection and am fed (what is obviously) bullshit and fall for it like a moron. I have grown thicker skin this time around, so at least there’s that.. but hopefully this has been my last lesson. 

I have found a new diversion for my focus and just put in my first offer for a new home! This will be my new passion project and will take up my thoughts and energies for a while, so as freaked tfo as I am, I am equally excited for this new venture. If it’s meant to be, it will be, and if it’s not, my new little home is out there somewhere not ready for me yet. 

06/19/2020 - 11:51 PM

[the-kings-tail-fin]

Funny/ sad idea for the adoptive au like someone saying how cute little Monty is and what a great dad doc is etc and he just without thinking goes "oh I'm not his dad" and lightning looks at him in complete shock "your not?" And doc has to try and explain what he meant to an increasingly confused and upset Monty :)

Oh, man. The feels. Since the RS folks probably don’t know his real name, we’re gonna act like “Monty” never existed and he’s just been Lightning from the start, if that’s cool :)

“Thanks for the tune up, Doc.” the old Ford pickup truck extended his gratitude as the two of them exited Doc’s clinic. “Heck, if I didn’t live so far away, I’d ask to be a regular patient.”

“Glad I could help you out.” Doc wasn’t one for flattery, but he was satisfied that his services were still considered top notch by this traveler. “Next time though, make sure your timing’s right before you go ‘cross country, else you’ll end up with a knock.”

“I’ll remember tha-  whoa!”

A tiny streak of red came zipping around the corner of the clinic from Doc’s garage and nearly ran into the pickup, only to oversteer at the last moment and drive directly into a nearby tumbleweed before coming to a stop.

“Kid, what did I tell you about watchin’ where you’re going?” Doc said with the slightest hint of amusement showing through his professional facade. “You gotta behave yourself when there’s company around.”

Lightning squirmed his way out of the loose bush and tuned to face Doc with a huge grin. He had a few twigs sticking out from his wheel wells and was covered in dust from veering off road. He didn’t seem to notice these inconveniences as he paraded up to the old Hudson and bounced up and down on his front tires once for emphatic effect.

“Twenty-five!” he exclaimed. “I hit twenty-five miles-hour!”

Doc chuckled and reached over to pull the sticks out from underneath the kid’s fenders and brush the dust off. “Did you, now? That’s a new record!” he commended. “Keep it up and you just might be a racer one day.”

Lighting revved his engine and started skidding around in circles, showing off to the traveler, who was still sitting beside Doc, watching the scene play out with amusement and adoration.

“Cute kid, Doc.” the Ford complimented him again. “You must be one heck of a father.”

“Oh, I’m not his father.” Doc corrected him, turning to face the road and guide his customer into the rest of town. “We all look after him here. How about you go get yourself something at Flo’s before you head out of town? Tell her it’s on me.”

“Shoot, thanks, man. I’ll make sure and tell everyone I meet that if they ever break down, they should do it near this town. I appreciate it.” the truck was genuinely humbled by the gesture.

Doc smiled and nodded as the truck cruised down towards the station. He then turned back towards his clinic, but stopped when he saw Lightning looking at him with confusion strung across his face.

“You’re not?” he asked, staring Doc straight in the eyes.

“Not wha- ?” Doc stopped mid thought as he realized what’d happened. “Oh.”

He looked down at the little red racecar and saw tears begin to well up across his windshield. Doc felt guilt wash over him as he thought about what it must sound like to a kid to hear their adoptive parent say they’re not actually who they appear to be.

“Do- do you not want me anymore?” Lightning’s voice grew smaller and shakier as he tried to fathom Doc not being his father.

“What?” Doc wasn’t prepared for such a cutting question. “No! I- I mean, of course I want to-” 

He stuttered, trying to find the words to explain what he meant to the young child. Lightning looked almost scared, and started to slowly back away. Doc sighed and put on the most caring persona he could muster.

“Lightnin’, listen. I want to explain something to you. Will you come with me?” Doc asked him, driving towards his garage slowly.

Lightning hesitated and didn’t answer right away. If Doc wasn’t his father, did that mean he couldn’t trust him anymore? He looked up at the old blue car driving away before glancing at the rest of the town. Did that mean they weren’t family either? He suddenly felt very lonely.

“You comin’?” Doc called to him. 

Lightning wanted so bad to follow him. He thought back on all the good times they’d had. A couple words couldn’t change all that, could they? Doc was still a good person, right? His curiosity got the best of him, and despite his sudden onset sniffles, followed Doc into his garage.

Once they were inside, Doc flipped on a few lights and shut the doors behind them so Lightning would feel more secured (and less likely to run out). Then he turned to face the shaky, emotional child.

“Kiddo, do you know what family is? What it means to be a part of a family?” Doc asked.

Lightning nodded almost immediately and blinked away a few tears. Doc sat in silence for a while, looking at him expectantly. Lightning realized he wanted a verbal answer and tried to swallow the rising sob in his throat.

“It’s when there’s a mom and dad car with kids. Sometimes there’s aunts and uncles and cousins and stuff too.” he answered to the best of the ability.

“Well, that’s one definition, kid.” Doc smiled at him, trying be as comforting as he could manage. “But a family can be a lot of different things. Did you know that members of a family don’t have to be directly related?”

That concept was new to Lightning, so he shook himself ‘no’. He always thought the mom and dad car were a married couple that decided one day they wanted to take care of a smaller car, so they went out and got one. But as he thought about that definition, he realized Doc wasn’t married, and if Doc was supposed to be his dad, then who was his mom? That line of reasoning didn’t make the least bit of sense.

“Sometimes a family can be what you just described.” Doc continued. “But sometimes, a family is a group of people that really care about each other and take care of each other. Take a look at the folks in town - they all live together in harmony and are there for each other, just like a traditional family. Does that make sense?”

Lightning frowned as he considered it, but nodded. “But how do they decide when to have kids if there’s no mom or dad?”

“Well, you see sometimes the kids just show up.” Doc explained as simply as possible. “That’s what happened with you. You came to us, and we took you in. We swore we’d never let anything bad happen to you, and that we’d love you and take care of you just like a regular family would. You see, family isn’t about sharing a last name or physical traits with someone else. It’s about the relationships and love you have for those around you. It’s about caring for and supporting those who you truly care about. 

“When I told that truck I wasn’t your father, I meant I wasn’t your father in a hereditary sense. But you know what? I still consider you my son, and I love you as a son. I don’t have to be your physical father in order to be a dad for you, kid.”

That was a lot of information, but it all made sense. Lightning felt a little better, but it was going to be some time before he could reconcile this new definition and idea of family with what he’d always thought. He realized the townsfolk weren’t any different, even if they weren’t direct family. Nothing as he knew it would change with this knew knowledge other than his perspective.

“Can I still call you dad?” he asked a little timidly.

Doc looked down on him, noticed the tears had disappeared, and smiled. “Of course. You can call me whatever you want. Within reason, though!”

“Okay, dad.” Lightning smiled and immediately spun around to push through the double doors, ready to see the world in a new light.

[awed-frog]

How do you approach writing a character in your fics if there isn't much background to them? I'm currently writing a fic about Eileen Leahy (and possibly Lillian O'Grady) and I really want to do her justice. I love Blues run the Game and since you're going to include her I was hoping you could help me with this :) thank you!

Hi! Wow, thanks for the compliments and congrats on writing a fic - we definitely need more Eileen stuff in our lives!

So, that’s a tricky question, but I think that, in a way, writing a character with less background is not that different from writing a character we know a lot about; the main danger, in my opinion, is the tempation to work out a lot of headcanons about that character and then dump them on the reader because we know our audience will be less familiar with, say, Eileen than they are with Dean and we want to fix that at once. Instead, I think it’s better to write your story as if your reader knew just as many things about her as they do about other characters - that’s how you include her: not by pointing out she’s different (ie, by adding unnecessary information about her), but by pretending she’s the same.

And the thing is, we do know enough, as fanfiction writers, to present a convincing Eileen to our readers. We know her parents were killed and she grew up with a tough lady hunter, and we know she’s casual enough about telling this story she must have known the truth for a long time (possibly she knew all along), and that she’s hungry enough for revenge that Lilian must have been at least a bit John-like in her approach to hunting. We know Eileen, like Sam and Dean, was looking for that one specific banshee, had been looking for it for years, but she still decided to hunt other things in the meantime, putting herself in danger for other people. 

(That tells us a lot of the kind of person she is and how she was raised.)

We know she doesn’t have a lot of close friends (or, in any case, no one she mentions to Sam and no one she can ask for help when the BMoL starts hunting her down), but that she’s also good with people, and comfortable about fitting in anywhere. To me, that suggests someone who moved around as a kid, but probably less than the Winchesters, and also someone who had a home to come back to after school, and not a car or a motel. The fact she’s unapologetic and unconcerned about her disability (not that she should be, but you see what I mean) suggests she got to know other people in the deaf community growing up, that she perhaps attended a school with other deaf kids, and was surrounded by people for whom her deafness was not a problem. We know she took care of Lilian when Lilian got sick, but also that there was some distance between them - that Lilian was not so much a mother as she was a caretaker and a teacher - and that’s unusual for a fictional woman, isn’t it, to not bond with an infant, to welcome a newborn into your life and still hunt, and teach the child how to hunt, thereby putting her in danger? I’m thinking Lilian may have been a bit like Mary - someone who felt trapped by what society expected of her, someone who had a lot of love to give but didn’t necessarily know how to do it properly. Despite this, we know she made a good enough job with Eileen that this orphan girl grew up both conscious of how little she mattered in the eyes of others and with enough self-confidence to use it to her advantage (I loved how her behind-the-scenes, I’ll get hired as a cleaning lady hunting methods were contrasted by Sam and Dean’s usual I’m tall and handsome, talk to me behaviour). We know she’s comfortable with herself and her sexuality - she was definitely flirting and dressing up for Sam, and she had no problem joining Mildred in a raunchy discussion about the Winchesters’ hot bodies, but also accepting hugs and physical reassurance when she needed it - this, again, points to a somewhat regular childhood and youth with good role models and possibly a string of nice boyfriends. 

(Considering how at ease Eileen is around men, it’s possible Lilian had a long-term partner, someone Eileen got to know as a sort of father figure but also someone who died early enough in her life that she didn’t think of mentioning him to the Winchesters - or if she did, well, we didn’t hear it.)

At the same time, as level-headed and balanced as she is, I think Eileen, like most people, can be pushed if that’s what your story needs. She was surely subjected to all kinds of rude, dismissive behaviour over the years, both as a hunter lady and as a deaf person, and she’s bound to have resented Lilian over something or other - we know that adopted kids usually go through a You should have left me where I was phase, for instance (I wonder if she ever went back to Ireland, and what she found there). Furthermore, caring for a sick relative and watching them die - whoa - talk about trauma and confronting your own mortality. And, even after she’s finally killed the banshee she’d been looking for for decades, Eileen keeps hunting - keeps moving around - it’s possible, likely, even, she had the problems all women over thirty start to develop - former schoolmates on Facebook getting married and having babies definitely being one of them, if you’re looking for ways to make her uncomfortable with her life and her choices, because a 37-year-old woman travelling by herself, getting odd jobs, perhaps weeks at a time, in small towns plagued by mysterious deaths - I think people would relate to her much differently than they do to Sam and Dean, and there would be some flirting involved - not the Here’s my number, hot stuff kind, but the I’ve got a job, let’s settle down kind, and maybe it’d be harder and harder to turn those offers down, because, you know, why risk your life for strangers day after day when you can marry Park Ranger Tom and finally put your belongings in a closet instead of a duffel bag?

So, you know - we’ve got a lot about her even before we get to the whole Sam thing, but, again - don’t feel like you have to explain to your readers who Eileen is. You could stop and draw up a character sheet for her if it makes you feel better, but what I do is to just decide how I need my characters to feel in a given scene and go from there. Like, you need Eileen to feel unsettled? I think it’s a good bet to place her in a hospital - because a) hospitals are scary and b) Lillian’s bound to have been in and out of hospitals for a couple of years at least - and then go from there. And if you feel like you don’t know her enough, don’t write everything from her POV - get inside Sam’s head instead, and watch events from there. I know it’s scarier to write characters we don’t know all that much about (I feel the same way), but personally what annoys me the most as a reader is the other thing - the information dump - so my advice would be, decide what’s going to happen and why Eileen needs to be a part of it, and then - just write. Don’t think too hard about who she is and everything we don’t know about her. In fact, in a way having only a couple of episodes of canon is a gift, because it means you can introduce stuff you want to talk about for some reason and be convincing about it (Eileen drinking someone under the table, Eileen meeting Jo Harvelle at some gun convention fifteen years ago, Eileen defending Dean’s love for hentai to Sam, because, Come on, he’s not hurting anyone and it’s kind of hot, anyway? - the possibilities are endless). 

Really - deep breaths and have fun. Eileen is a wonderful character, and I’m sure you’ll do great things with her.

[hangrypa]

Hi! I'm actually a year one college student with the goal of becoming a PA. Do you have a few things you know now that you wish you knew at the beginning of your college education? They can be completely random. I try to ask around and so far it has been a big help. Thanks!

Ooh, thanks for the question! And it’s a great one!Being that I changed my major a lot, you’re already ahead of the game! Firstly, I wish I had known that time that I eventually would want to be a PA (versus one of the other three careers I considered).

That being said, had I known as a college freshman that I wanted to be a PA, here’s what I would’ve done:

1. Try joining a Pre-PA club if you have one at your school. If not, I’d join the online community of PA-C, PA-S, and prePA. If you check out PAblr (which I’m sure you have!), there are lots of Tumblrs who discuss all kinds of PA stuff, from school interview tips to daily PA life. Another great source is www.physicianassistantforum.com. They discuss undergrad life, PA-S life, PA life, scholarship opportunities, applications, etc, and there’s an entire section that is program specific!

2. If you have anything clinical nearby (EMS, local hospital, free clinic, nursing home, university PT clinic), see if there’s something you can do there. Anything, really. Whether you’re a paramedic or patient service representative, you’re learning a lot. My first clinical job was as a meals person at a residential community. It wasn’t exactly “clinical,” but I did learn a ton about dementia, arthritis, ophthalmology, and more (and meds, sooo much about meds). More importantly, I learned to recognize people’s clinical needs and find ways to meet them. And some of my residents told me the funniest dang things, and I used some of those things in my CASPA personal statement.

3. Speaking of CASPA, it’s never too early to get to know CASPA. The application is a beast. I could have eliminated so much stress if I had looked at the application before I was ready to start applying. In fact, since CASPA usually saves your application from the year prior if you filled one out then, you could open an account now. Then as you complete each semester of college and receive your final grades, you could type them directly into CASPA. And while your memory of your extracurricular activities is fresh, you could write about what you did each semester. This would have saved me ~513491 hours of the most boring work of my life. 

4. Find professors you like every semester, and talk to them! Even if it’s just one professor a semester. I went to a giant school (97.5% of the town’s population was college students, I kid you not, that’s a true percentage) and didn’t do this until fall semester of my senior year. I wish I had done this earlier because 1) the ones I keep in touch with help me keep life in perspective when school gets crazy, 2) had I started this freshman year, I would have had a greater variety of reference letters, 3) Mentors are great to have, and a professor in a field that’s related to what you love will be incredibly helpful (the one I talk to the most is a neuroscientist).

5. Life is short. This is not directly related to becoming a PA, but I think it’s important to know regardless of where you are and who you want to be. Be with people who make you better. My first two years of college, I spent a significant amount of time trying to do “the college thing.” I went to parties that I didn’t want to go to, tried to win the approval of people who were more interested in tearing others down than building them up, and spent too much money trying to buy the “right” clothes. It wasn’t until I was a resident assistant that I figured it out. I had a resident who was in a bad relationship, hung out with people who clearly didn’t care about her, and was pursuing the major that her parents wanted. One night I stopped by her room right as she was trying to end her life. After the drama of the police and EMS, I held her hand and sat with her, talking into the early hours of the morning. And I realized that life is too short for optional crap. If you’d rather binge watch Friends than go to a party where you don’t know anybody, stay in your PJs and watch Friends. If someone makes you feel worse about yourself, break off that toxic relationship and find someone who makes you feel like a rockstar. If you find that the current clothing trends just don’t feel right on you, wear something you love (bonus points if it’s comfortable). If Susie wants you to end your close friendship with Sallie because she doesn’t like Sallie, keep your friendship with Sallie. If your parents want you to major in actuarial science but you love art, major in art. If your significant other doesn’t realize how amazing you are and makes you an option, you have an option, too –> leave and continue being your awesome self. Do the things that make you a) stronger b) better c) happier d) all of the above.

Whoa, this turned into a much longer response than I had anticipated, haha.I hope it helps, and best of luck with everything!!!

[totallytubulargirl]

Ok so not turtle related but since I'm a baby blog I want you to get a feel for my writing style. This is a friend fic I wrote.

BRIDGE TO ROADHOUSE #Jeren Joe had been pushing Keren to go to this party all night. She didn't know what to feel about him. He was a total flirt and she knew that this was just standard for him. At the same time, though, he kept looking at her with this look she had never seen before. It was the kind of look that every girl longed for. It was "the" look. She sighed. "So are you going to go?" He asked. She smiled, trying to cover it up. "Yes, I told you a million times." He ran off. "Don't change your mind!" He yelled back. She continued with her night, not being able to shake the thought of hanging out with him. Keren began to sweep the front as the restaurant slowed down for the night. Joe walked towards her. "Hey give me your number so I can text you." She chuckled. "Calm down." He smiled "I mean so I can text you to pick you up." She gave him each digit one by one. "There." "Alright." He said. "Text you in a bit." He walked out the door. She sighed again. "Girl." Said Brie, suddenly interrupting her thoughts. "You have got it bad." Keren tried to laugh her coworker off. "What're you talking about?" "Oh you know what I'm talking about." Brie crossed her arms. Brie had always been good at identifying these kinds of things. She could smell blood in the water from a mile away. "No, I really don't." Said Keren trying to avoid the subject. "Alright." Replied Brie. "Whatever." She walked off and Keren felt stupid for letting her emotions show so obviously. They finished closing procedures and shut down for the night. Keren grabbed her purse from the back, not checking her phone right away in an effort to seem nonchalant. But it was killing her. Finally after clocking out and leaving the restaurant she grabbed her phone from her purse. Hey. Read Joes text. What's up. She smiled. She couldn't help but smiling. Brie was right, she had it bad. It's not like she wanted to be his girlfriend, she really didn't know what she wanted. She wanted to have a romantic evening, just one, but knew Joe would never go for that. He was a gentleman and she knew he would want more then just one night. Keren decided not to reply until she got home. Just got home. She replied once she arrived at her house. Cool. He responded. So when am I picking you up. Let me get dressed. She said. She pondered, wondering whether she should wear something nice or something casual. She decided on yoga pants and a sweatshirt. It was sexy but simple. Alright I'm ready. She texted back. Once He finally found her house, Keren tried not to run outside. She walked slowly towards his bright red truck. Joe came out to open the passenger door for her. "Thanks." She smiled sheepishly. She got in and he closed the door. Joe jumped in the truck. "Hey girl, what's up?" He asked. "Nothing." She laughed. "Just going to this lame party." He smiled. "Oh lame huh?" Keren laughed. She couldn't keep her smile under control around him. "Yeah lame." She heard bottles clinking around in the backseat as he drove down the road. She turned back to look at what the noise was and saw a 12 pack of angry orchard in the seat. "Can I have one?" She asked. He chuckled. "Yeah I bought it for you." Keren vaguely remembered telling him a week back her favorite beer. "You remembered!" She reached for one and popped it open. She brought the bottle to her lips and tilted it back, chugging until the liquid in the bottle was completely obliterated. She looked over to joe who had wide eyes. "Whoa." He said, shocked. Keren just shrugged her shoulders. She opened another one. They drove for 20 minutes before reaching the party. Those 2 beers began to sink in. She giggled, cutting the silence in between them. "Bro," she said. "Grab me another one or nahh?" He opened her a third beer. "Feeling it?" He asked. She smiled. "Yeah you are." He said replying for her. Keren felt loose, not quite drunk but loose. She watched joe grab his 12 pack and walk off. She looked around, realizing they were way out of town. The trees towered over her in the moonlight, creating a creepy atmosphere. She ran towards him. "Wait for me." She grabbed his hand, "Don't lose me ok?" He looked at their hands, intertwined, realizing she was really scared. "Alright." He said. They walked towards the fire, together. When they finally reached it she let go. He was surprised and didn't like how cold the emptiness in his palm felt. "Hey bro!" Said one of his friends. He was lost for the next 30 minutes, just hanging around, drinking, enjoying the party. Keren walked up to him. "Hey, I'm leaving." she said. "What with who?" He asked "Just some friends I found here." They went to shake hands and he lingered, they both expected something more to happen. She looked at him waiting, but nothing. She waved goodbye and started to walk away. She was halfway down the road when he yelled after her. "Wait!" He ran after her. "Don't leave?" She looked at his hopeful face. She thought about it, feeling bad about leaving him. "Alright." She said. Joe lit up a cigarette. "Let's hang back a little." He said, bringing the filter to his lips. Keren watched him huff out the smoke. They sat down digging their feet in the sand. The moonlight was hitting her face at the just the right angle, making her glow. Joe bit his bottom lip. "What?" She asked. "What?" He mimicked her. "Well stop looking at me like that." She shivered. "Cold?" "Yeah." Joe slowly wrapped his arm around her. She scooted in closer. Her head rest gently against his shoulder, and he was grateful for the silence. She picked her head up, "Do you ever-" she stopped. "Nothing." She put her head down. "Yeah, I think about you." He took a slow puff of his cigarette. She looked surprised. She turned to look at him and their eyes met. He looked down, ready for what was about to happen. She could smell the mint and nicotine on his breath, and his lips felt so close to hers. "Hey!" Yelled Sami, one of the servers they worked with. They both turned their heads. "Woah." She stopped in her tracks. "I was just, uh, looking for for Jordie." Keren turned her head towards the lake. Joe scratched his head. "Uh, I think he's with Shultz." "Alright." She said. She walked away. Joe coughed. "What time is it?" Asked Keren. It must be late, and after what had just happened she just wanted to go home. "I think I should go home." Joe tensed up and scrunched his eyebrows. "It's only 1." She tried to come up with an excuse, but she sat in the sand unable to come up with Anything. He stared at her with hopeful eyes. She just needed this awkward night to be over. "Alright I'll take you home." She felt guilty. She grabbed his arm as he stood up. "No." She protested. "I think I'll stay actually." He smiled and sat down. "Oh so you just lied right now?" She laughed. "I guess if you want to think of it like that." Joe disappeared for a few minutes as he ran to his car to look for blankets. He returned with three. After that, They continued talking, for what felt like hours. They gazed at the stars and soon fell asleep. ➖❤️➖ The sun crawled up from its deep slumber as Keren slowly opened her eyes. The wind was softly blowing and she felt a deep chill. She turned over and felt an emptiness. What the heck!? She thought. She groaned out loud. "I can't believe it I'm so stupid!" She put one of the blankets over her face and muffled her screams. Joe came in from a pathway in the woods. "You ok?" He asked. Keren stopped mid-scream. She threw the blanket off of her face. "Um, yeah." She said cautiously. "Where'd you go?" He had two coffee cups in hand. "I grabbed some coffee, it took me about an hour to find a gas station but I found it." She smiled as he handed her the small paper cup. She happily sipped at the warm liquid that deeply contrasted the chilling environment around her. She looked over at him, and watched his blue eyes glisten with appreciation for the warmth as well. They wrapped themselves with the blankets and watched the sunrise. "My mom is probably so mad at me." She said to him. "You'll be fine." He said. "Do you wanna go home?" She pondered the question. She didn't want to give the sunrise and gas station coffee up. But she had too. "I think I should." She replied. They finished their coffee and packed up. They walked down the dusty pathway and out of the woods. They saw a post-apocalyptic scene of bodies strewn across the grass. Barely awake drunk people crawling to the nearest ditch to throw up. "Yikes." Joe said. They hopped in his car and he turned it on.